Being bored, I thought it would be fun to google some of my professors to see if any of their articles would come up. It's interesting what one can find. Not only did I discover that one of my Profs has contributed to a number of Harper's Indexes, but I also found out which Profs were members of the Golden Key and in which years (among other things). In my travels through the endless Web, I found this fun/nerdy list:

Tips for Proper English

Avoid alliteration. Always.

Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

Employ the vernacular.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

Remember to never split an infinitive.

Contractions aren't necessary.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

One should never generalize.

Eliminate quotations. As Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

Be more or less specific.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be avoided.

Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Do not put statements in the negative form.

Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

A writer must not shift your point of view.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. They're old hat; seek viable alternatives!