"Ah! Don't hit my breasticles!"-my brother, as I attempted to punch him

Click me for the best...picture...ever

"Does anyone have any questions?"-prof
"We were wondering if Polyxena and Xena the Warrior Princess were the same person?" -student
"No. That's stupid." (prof turns back to the blackboard)


"Oh yeah? You think that dream was weird? Last night I dreamed that I met a woman who was employed as a towel."


So I presented my first poem in the creative writing poetry class today, and I got a lot of great feedback. Actually, my poem was the most discussed so far, and brought up more terms than anyone else's so far. Yay for me. But now I'll have to write something extra special for my next presentation...

Irony?

"Overall, if you dig deeper with your analysis, combine it with your good writing style and your obvious intellectual engagement with literature, you'll soon be writing 'A' papers!" - T.A. for my (fall) American Lit class

Sigh. If only she knew that this one essay was one of the very few essays of my university career that wasn't an A paper. Ok, so I'm partly bragging, but I find this comment very funny.

"THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1/ i exist only
2/ to
3/ waste space." -Kat

Aww... no wasted space.

I just checked my marks for last session, and it turns out that three of the five courses I took had a course average of C (roughly 65%). Who said English courses were "bird" courses, anyway? Then again, it always feels good to have two full grades above the average...

"Does anyone have a question?" -prof
"When are we getting our marks for first session?" -student
"Since when is this question period?!"
"Uhhh... you just said it was."
"Very true. I will answer all questions later."

To start New Years with a bang... If this does not interest you, please feel free to not read this. I'm only doing this because Mellie asked so sweetly. *grin*

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1/ Amanda
2/ Mandy
3/ Dee

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
I change them far too frequently...

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1/ The fact that I'm doing well in school
2/ The ability to write
3/ Being able to help friends

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1/ I'm too critical
2/ Procrastination (YES I procrastinate... Don't even ask about my Early American Lit readings last session...)
3/ I'm overly emotional at inappropriate times

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1/ Canadian
2/ Scottish
3/ English

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1/ Heights
2/ Going under bridges with trains/big trucks going overhead
3/ Bugs/spiders

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1/ Music
2/ Reading
3/ Eating

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1/ A sweater
2/ Rings
3/ Striped socks

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artistes at the moment):
1/ Hawksley Workman
2/ The Red West
3/ Hot Hot Heat

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1/ "Mr. Brightside" (Kat> "I LOVE this song!!")
2/ "No More Named Johnny (live)"
3/ "Talk To Me Dance With Me"

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1/ Road trip with Mellie...?
2/ RELAXING instead of stressing out over school... everything WILL be ok
3/ Eating new foods

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
"Want?" I have all...

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Again...

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1/ Not get stressed out
2/ Not hate people
3/ Go to bed with reading to do (stupid conscience)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1/ Writing
2/ Listen to music
3/ Read

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1/ Read a book that's not required and LIKE it
2/ Read everything I need for class and LIKE it all
3/ Get inspiration to write

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1/ Writing
2/ Working at a publishing house
3/ ...?

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1/ Tour of Europe
2/ Scotland
3/ Africa to see real ostriches in their natural environment

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1/ I like some but...
2/ ...does that matter...
3/ ...right now...?

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1/ Inspire someone
2/ Leave more than just a name
3/ See the cities where my great-grandparents were born

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DO THIS:
1/ Kat...?
2/ ...but I don't really...
3/ ...care if anyone does...

"This guy is completely blowing his own mind. And I'd understand it if he was on acid or something... but he was only on poetry!" -prof

A new poem...

A Woman Warrior (Without a Name)

Three hours passed before they found her body,
no longer human:
wearing a human face.
Its soul is bloated.
It is shameful to behold,
shameful to deduce the scenario.
A child within a child.
A child motionless in intensely passionate sin.

Three days -
- static, she waits -
before they buried the secret.
No hint of faith as she was placed below,
in full view of her people:
wide-eyed and motionless.

Thirty years passed, and I can accept your secret.
The hidden sicknesses,
your veiled contents.
So close to me, yet so distant,
three generations too early.
Feminism not adopted:
no child can inhabit a motionless child.